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on 27-07-2002 16:36
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By Chonny
His metal walker clattered slightly as he let go, reaching out one hand at a time for the reclining chair behind him. He sat down with a thud, unable to lower himself with control, his body spreading as liquid, moulding to the chair. His prosthetic leg stood out crookedly, a healthy tanned colour against the pallor of this wrinkled white flesh. I straightened it and placed some pillows behind Mr. Neviller.
After laying a towel across his upper body, I began to cut and arrange his dinner. Mashed potatoes 12 oclock. Cubed roast beef 6 oclock. Peas 3 oclock. Mr. Neviller, you must understand, was legally blind.
For all his physical ailments, however, he was totally cognitive. He told me tales of his youth, of how his career as an engineer was fruitful, where he had worked and with whom. He related long stories of his wife, children, and grandchildren with pride between bites of food which I either fed or directed him to using the layout of a clock as a guideline.
His television was fixed to a news channel all day long. We would listen and discuss the hot topics of the day as they were broadcast.
"So, where are you from?" says he.
"By nationality, Sir?"
"Thats right"
"Im British." I reply - it was the easier answer.
"Ahh, I could tell from your accent."
"Oh really? I think Im losing it."
It was common enough banter which I engaged in with many of my patients.
"Ahh no, I can pick up on it. What side are you from?"
"London, Sir."
"Im very familiar with London. My wife and I used to visit there frequently - to watch the shows only - nothing more. This was before I had lost my sight of course, and my wife has passed now."
"Im sorry to hear that…."
A brief pause.
"Yeah, she loved the theatre."
"Which shows have you watched?"
"She loved The Phantom of the Opera…and the one on skates…what was that again? Ummm…"
"Starlight Express?"
"Yeah, thats the one - I didnt really like it."
"Ive…"
The blaring television spliced through our banal conversation with a new headline. We listened momentarily about the updates on The War on Terror. Mr. Neviller decided instead to continue our own conversation.
"Yeah, we travelled frequently, my wife and I."
"Where would you say is the place you love best?"
"Oh, Im not sure but one area we never went to was China. Ive always wanted to see that place."
"China? Ah! Me too. China and Africa - Tunisia and Morocco and Sudan. I would love to go to those places."
"Im not sure about that." Mr. Neviller replied.
"How so? Ive heard theyre really beautiful."
"They may be beautiful - but the people? Yeah, I would check with your embassy first. You can never been too careful."
"Im not sure what you mean exactly." I had an idea and my heart sank, hoping that my idea would be farthest from the truth.
"Well, these Moslems. Very violent they are. I would think twice about going. They might make you wear those things on your head. They might attack you."
"Muslims?"
"Yeah, very uncivilised they are." He drawled.
Continuing - "No class at all. I had a neighbour who was one of them. Palestinian. Very crude man." Mr. Neviller said as he gouged some beef bristle out of his teeth and wiped it on the table before him. "Very crude. He would butcher his own chickens."
"Well, someone has to do it." Says I.
"Yeah well, not in his back yard. Not in the suburbs."
I wondered what the difference was between the country and the suburbs. Perhaps it was the just the out of sight, out of mind scenario. It wasnt as if he was a vegetarian.
"Very uncivilised." He repeated.
The television cut through again… "Differentiating between mainstream Moslems and those who committed the acts of September 11th….is like differentiating between borderline Nazis and fully fledged Nazis…."
Disgusted, I blurted out "How can someone make such a comparison?"
Mr. Neviller evidently hadnt heard the statement and so I paraphrased for him. He considered it momentarily. "Yeah, thats right. Its true."
"Oh really? To me, there are people this world over who are good, and people who are bad. Regardless of race or religion, regardless of your beliefs, there will always be people who are supposedly part of your group but do no adhere to the same standards as you do. To me, this whole situations is just as that of the Ku Klux Klan. Theyre violent. They perform acts which they justify according to Christianity but people dont generalise and say that all Christians are peace loving. Why? Because it just isnt true. Why make such a sweeping statement about Muslims then? There are over one billion Muslims in this world. If all were religiously obliged to be violent, well then where would this world be?"
Irritation started to peek through in my voice. "A person cant generalise, it just doesnt work."
Mr. Neviller slumped forward, chewed noisily on his cherry pie and said, "I guess youre right."
I lifted the spoon to his lips once more and wondered if he thought me a savage. It seemed not - he spoke to me as an equal.
Would he have said all this if his sight had not been taken away? Would he have said this if my blurred face was sharply focused in his view? I looked at my dark brown skin and adjusted my headscarf, my hijab.
I may be British born and raised. I may have a London accent but those things were merely given to me through circumstance.
I am a Muslim born and raised. Now as an adult I choose to be Muslim.
I stood there looking down at him and felt a deep sadness as I remembered his words and insinuations - uncivilised, uncouth, and violent. Appearances can be deceiving, so the saying goes. I suppose that is true, even if you cant see a person.
Last update : 27-07-2002 16:36
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