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on 05-01-2004 18:17
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It was not too long ago, there lived a President in a huge palace built on the banks of the River Tigris. He claimed that he had in his possession weapons of mass destruction. The countries of the world took notice of this fact and decided to destroy his stockpile of weapons. They sent in inspectors to do the job. The inspectors stayed there for eight years disarming the President. In the end, he was left without any weapons of mass destruction.
Nevertheless, the Security Council suspected something was amiss. It was possible that the President had some weapons left in his arsenal capable of causing mass destruction. They found this out through spy-satellites and by tapping his telephone. The Security Council deputed two inspectors, Dr. Bliss and Dr. Boredom to pay the President a visit and destroy all the weapons of mass destruction.
No sooner, it was said, the inspectors boarded a flight to visit the dictator. They came before his palace of the President on the bank of the Tigris and began to sing a song they had composed in his honor, in terms befitting the majesty of the Head of State.
"What a fine palace is this with its roof of Gold,
One more fine and rich we never saw!
Where the Radiance of Tigris and Jewel of Euphrates lives alone,
But, its country and weapons he owns,
And a Nuclear Weapon, which is named as the Fist of God,
For its loud and a powerful Bang!"
The President was pleased with this song. He stepped out of the palace and said:
"Thank you for your song, Dr. Bliss and Dr. Boredom. You deserve a present for singing so nicely, but I am afraid I have nothing to give you and I do not possess any nuclear weapons of mass destruction."
You can allow us to inspect your fine country and its weapons facilities. You should allow us to interview your scientists. You should allow surveillance flights and outlaw all nuclear weapons capable of causing weapons of mass destruction. It will do well enough for the beginning."
The President did not have any choice in this matter. He gave them all that they asked for and extended them all cooperation. After a few months, the inspectors went to the Security Council with their report. They could not find any nuclear weapons of mass destruction.
The Security Council was not convinced with the inspectors report. The inspectors were asked to travel back to the Tigris and look hard for chemical weapons. The President living on the bank of the Tigris should extend them all cooperation. A resolution was passed to this effect.
Coming back again to the palace, the inspectors began to sing:
"What a fine palace this with its roof of Gold,
One more fine and rich we never saw!
Where the Radiance of Tigris and Jewel of Euphrates lives alone,
But, its country and chemical weapons he owns."
The President stepped out of his palace, pleased with the song. "Thank you very much for your song" said he, "But I am afraid, I do not have anything to give you and I do not have any chemical weapons to call my own."
"We will take all your fertilizers, food preservatives, and drug chemicals. We will take all the containers and aluminum tubes capable of holding them. We think this will be enough to convince the people of the world."
The President did not have any choice in this matter. He signed a Presidential decree ordering that everything asked by the inspectors should be given to them. After a few weeks, the inspectors reported to the Security Council. They could not find any chemical weapons of mass destruction.
The Security Council was not convinced with the inspectors report. The inspectors were asked to travel back to the Tigris and look hard for biological weapons and nerve agents. The President living on the bank of the Tigris should extend them all cooperation. A resolution was passed to this effect.
Coming back again to the palace, the inspectors began to sing:
"What a fine palace this with its roof of Gold,
One more fine and rich we never saw!
Where the Radiance of Tigris and Jewel of Euphrates lives alone,
But, its country and biological weapons he owns."
The President stepped out of his palace, pleased with the song. "Thank you very much for your song" said he, "But I am afraid, I do not have anything to give you and I do not have any biological weapons to call my own."
"We will take all your dead rats, rotten banana peels, and drug vaccines. The dead rats may be used by you to prepare a plague virus. The rotten banana peels may be used for unleashing a biological war on our bases in the Gulf. We will take all the containers, vials, and aluminum tubes capable of holding them. We will also for good effect destroy all the missiles which are an inch beyond the range that has been specified for you. We think this will be enough to convince the people in the Security Council."
The President did not have any choice in this matter. He signed a Presidential decree ordering that everything asked by the inspectors should be given to them. After a few weeks, the inspectors reported to the Security Council. They had toured all over the country going every inch of the territory, looking everywhere, but they could not find any biological weapons of mass destruction.
The Security Council was not convinced with the inspectors report. The inspectors were asked to travel back to the Tigris and look hard for any weapons hidden on the person of the President. The President living on the bank of the Tigris should extend them all cooperation. A resolution was passed to this effect.
Coming back again to the palace, the inspectors began to sing:
"What a fine palace this with its roof of Gold,
One more fine and rich we never saw!
Where the Radiance of Tigris and Jewel of Euphrates lives alone,
But, its country and the personal weapons he owns."
The President stepped out of his palace, pleased with the song. "Thank you very much for your song" said he, "But I am afraid, I do not have anything to give you and I do not have any personal weapons to call my own."
"I am afraid this will not do," said one of the inspectors, "we have orders to search your Excellency for personal weapons."
The President did not have any choice but to submit to the search on his person. In the end, the inspectors found a single personal weapon hidden on his person, which they declared as extremely dangerous. It was capable of mass-producing other Presidents like him down the line. The President was held in material breach of the resolution of the Security Council.
The inspectors reported their finding to the Security Council and a Resolution 1446 was passed.
War was declared on the President for being in possession of the most deadly of all weapons.
Last update : 05-01-2004 18:17
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