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on 24-12-2003 04:10
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Once the members of the Security Council gathered in the United Nations and held a meeting. They always had their meetings there once or twice in a year. When the United Nations was not in session the building would be thrown open to the public for sightseeing. The seat near the window was always reserved for the Chairman of the Security Council.
They began their meeting by settling a few disputes and complicated cases of the world quickly. Being wise and just people, they took much less time to dispense justice than the judges of today do to settle disputes and cases. The session over, they got down to the most important matter that had brought them together for such an important meeting. They had gathered to discuss ways and means to save themselves from being called away often to the U.N Headquarters to solve the trifling problems of the world...
They were diplomats and their skills were needed in their countries to settle domestic political problems. Their families complained about their obsession with the worries of the world. They were neglecting their wives and children and many of them had become wayward in their attitudes and behavior.
The members of the Security Council discussed the matter thoroughly. They carefully weighed the pros and cons of not attending to the disputes of the world. They also considered the loss of monetary benefits that they enjoyed from the U.N funds and their governments back home for attending such meetings. Their arguments were well reasoned. There was wise advice from the members that had gathered there. You should have heard the clever things that were said in this meeting about the ways that one could shirk away from their responsibilities to the problems of the world. Some proposed to have nothing to do with the international disputes. Others held the opinion that it would be better to respond vaguely to the quarrels of the member states, and offer them useless advice as to gradually put them off, and make them stop referring their disagreements to the Security Council.
Finally, an old, experienced diplomat stepped forward to offer his advice. Gentlemen the main reason that our opinion is sought from the countries of the world is due to our great wisdom, and clear minds. Over a period of years, the international community has come to depend upon us for counsel and they come to us seeking our guidance on various issues that trouble them. We settle their disputes for them and it has been a thankless job that we have been doing for all these years. We are made to stay away from home for extended periods. We miss our families, our way of life by our prolonged absence from our countries. As the saying goes, the lard does not grow in the kitchen all by itself. We have to stay back and take care of our families and other business in our countries. For these reasons, I believe we should approach the matter from a different angle. We cannot disband the U.N or the Security Council. If we do that then we will! loose our prestige in the world. We are superpowers and we have veto power here. Let me explain. If we are constantly called away to attend to the problems of the world, it is due to our wisdom. We can safeguard our interests only by being foolish and appearing to the members of the United Nations as buffoons. Just as they need us today to pick on our brains, they will leave us alone tomorrow because of our antics and stupidity. As I see it, we should from now on indulge in the wildest eccentricities one could possibly devise or think of, and whenever a silly idea occurs to someone, he should immediately carry it out. Our great wisdom will help us devise new ways to appear foolish to the world. It is also common knowledge that when it is necessary to play a jester in a comedy, few can qualify for the role because it calls for the most intelligent and able people. To impersonate a fool is not an ordinary art. It happens that a fellow undertakes to play the fool, but, knowing! nothing about the job of a clown, he ends up looking very stupid, and the label will stick to him for the rest of his life. But, to us, our foolishness will not cause us any damage or harm. On the contrary, it should benefit all of us, and do us good.
Everyone present at the meeting began to discuss this worthy piece of advice in a serious manner. The representatives of each member state were asked to voice his opinion. This issue was not a joking matter, but one on which the common welfare and happiness of each diplomat present in the Security Council.
Of course, some had their doubts and some were sorry at heart, that, after years of wisdom that they were in their old age required to act like fools. Since common good was at stake they all decided in the end to part with their wisdom and become fools.
Over the years, the age of reasoning and wisdom died in the United Nations. The members of the Security Council started competing with one another in acts of foolishness. Nobody could tell them apart from fools. Playing the part of fools, they became perfect fools. Pretending to be wise, the members of Security Council acted foolishly on in handling international disputes. Wars and clashes took place in several parts of the world. They passed resolutions, which nobody followed. The countries of the world have long since stopped taking the Security Council seriously. All its resolutions were treated with disdain and contempt. They were disregarded and thrown into the dustbins. The countries of the world looked upon them as a mindless debating society run by comedians and jesters.
Will the members of the Security Council ever regain their wisdom? Nobody knows the answer, except, perhaps Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam with his dollars will determine the role of the Security Council in the future. The future of the Security Council today lies entirely in his hands.
RULES OF GOVERNANCE AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER
The Son phoned the Father and said excitedly, Father I have just won the election by default. I will be the next President of our great country. I want to meet you today and I wish to talk to you over dinner. I will need your advice on various matters. Please teach me a few rules of governance by which I can rule the people of my country effectively. I also want to talk to you on matters of foreign policy. I may need a few hints there. I also want to learn something about the New World Order that you constantly talked about during your term in office.
The Father congratulated his Son and called him over to dinner on the same day.
After dinner, they both relaxed on a sofa, sipping hot tea happily from the large cups that had been placed in front of them.
The Son told his Father, Father I am eager to learn. Teach me the tricks of the trade by which I can hold the high office of the President at least for two terms.
The Father said, In fact it is quite easy my son. A leader who wishes to rule effectively should know Arithmetic and its four important elements, which are addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.
The Son was puzzled, and said Father, I have learnt all that in my school days.
The Father replied, The rules of addition, when you are holding the office of the President are quite different than what you have learnt in your school days. It is not easy to apply the same rules of addition over here. These are the days of inflation. Money is hard to come by. Therefore, you should learn to add on to the tax burden on the shoulders of the common citizen without being appearing to do so, and that in itself is an art. You should start by offering tax cuts. When they relax, you should catch them off-guard and tax them double the amount by using other ways. The best way to do that is to float war bonds. Remember to keep the arms manufacturers happy with some of the money that you get by this method. They will fund you for the next election for the office of the President.
According to the rules of trade in our country, the elements of addition are used differently. When we buy from others, we should do it at half the cost. When we sell, we should add 1+1 to make it eleven.
You should allow people working in the Polygon to make money on the side, while purchasing waste paper baskets. According the rules of bribery for the government officials the sum total of anything that they add on to their salaries will be far greaterthan what they get from the governement. You should not object to these principles of addition, if you want to hold on to the office of the President.
The meaning of subtraction is to take things from others. You should learn to take things away from people by asking them to give it up voluntarily and others by force. Some things are taken by wielding the stick. Others things are to be taken away from people in the name of national interest. Always, remember the golden rule that if we are to remain a rich country and add on to our possessions, we should devise ways and means to take things away from other countries also. Sometimes we will have to take from our own people, to fund our ally in the Middle East, who looks after our interests over there. Whenever it is not possible, we have to dip in the pockets of our allies to fund him and all our ambitions and plans.
The other element of governance is through multiplication. Whenever, somebody threatens our interests, you repay it back blow by blow multiplied many times. You should reserve the light blows for our allies, heavy blows for those countries who remain neutral and mortal blows for our enemies. A bullet at us should be repaid by bombing them. If any country threatens to bomb us then we should drop Daisy Cutters on them. For those who wish to use the WMDs on us, we should nuke them away, out of existence from the face of this earth.
The New World Order is held together by the element of division. Division means sharing out. We should share the spoils of war with our allies and between ourselves. It will keep everybody happy and they will stick with you come what may. If you do not share, they will change loyalties and they will not be our allies anymore. The same rule applies to our people within the country. You should teach the people working under you to share bribes with those who are not lucky to get them. You should apply the principles of division to those working under you, and divide your duties equally among them. Be careful about your money. Hold tight on to your purse.
Now, you have learnt everything you need to know on this subject. Learn them well and apply them wisely. With luck, you can amend the constitution and run for a third term for the high office.
With this advice, the Father saw the Son to the door. The Son hugged him near the door and said, The people of my country will have me as a President for a long, long time to come.
TEACHING BY PARABLE
The Secretary of State was called to the Office of the President. He would have to journey to the Middle East and from there to the Occupied Territories. He had to convince people there about the Road Map to Peace that had been developed by the Quartet. The Secretary of State was reluctant to go. His visits to this area in the past had fetched him no results. The President, however, was convinced that only the Secretary of State had it in him to dissuade the people over there from the path of violence and persuade them to accept the Road Map to Peace that would lead to an independent state.
The Secretary of State thought long and hard about the ways and means to do the task that had been assigned to him. In the end, he decided to influence the people there to accept the Road Map to Peace by using a parable that he had learnt as a young boy in his school.
On his way to the Occupied Territories, he stopped in Cairo. He went to the market and after searching for a long time purchased two long narrow glass pitchers with a wide mouth at the top. The journalists accompanying him on this historic visit were puzzled at this purchase and asked him about it. The Secretary of State smiled mysteriously and said nothing. He was a man of few words. He reserved all his eloquence only for making political speeches and on the negotiating table.
In the Occupied Territories, he issued notice to all the warring parties to attend the negotiating table. The first to arrive was the Prime Minister of his countrys most trusted ally in the Middle East. The next to come was the Chairman of the Occupied Territories. The last groups to arrive were the members from the militant groups. The Secretary of State called the meeting to order and the negotiations began immediately.
The Secretary of State took all the warring parties to a low table in the middle of the room. Fixed firmly to the table were the two glass pitchers that he had purchased in the market at Cairo. Both the pitchers held small quantities of water in the bottom. Turning to the Chairman of the Occupied Territories, he said, The water at the bottom represents your independence. The question here is to raise the water in the pitcher to wet your mouth. If you can manage to do that without tilting or breaking the pitcher, you will taste the sweet water of freedom. Freedom means an independent state, living by the side of others in this area in peace and harmony.
The Chairman of the Occupied Territories was puzzled, and so were the militants who had gathered there. The answer to the tricky question posed by the Secretary of State simply eluded them. They racked their brains long and hard to come up with a solution. In the end, they threw up their hands and gave up on the answer.
The Secretary of State pointed to a huge heap of small pebbles lying on another table nearby. He picked one of them and dropped it into the pitcher, and said, Gentlemen the first pebble represents trust. You should learn to trust the Quartet to do the right thing for you.
He took a second pebble and dropped it into the pitcher, and said, You should at the same time learn to trust one another and your enemies.
He dropped the third pebble into the pitcher, and said, You should carry political reforms in the Occupied Territories.
Before dropping the fourth pebble into the pitcher, he looked at the Chairman of the Occupied Territories, and said meaningfully, You should resign from your post, and hand over all power to another person we have in mind.
At the fifth pebble, he said, There should be financial transparency, and accounting of funds flowing to the Occupied Territories and its Authority.
At the sixth, he said, There should be democratic elections in the Occupied Territories.
At the seventh, he said, All militants should surrender their arms.
At the eighth, he said, There should be no passive or active resistance during the interim period leading to independence.
He dropped the pebbles one after the other listing the conditions of the Road Map to Peace. The Secretary of State worked tirelessly at this task from morning until evening. By this time, the Chairman of the Occupied Territories, who had been without food and water since the morning had become extremely thirsty and he had reached the point of fainting on the spot.
His labor finished, the Secretary of the State looked into the pitcher. The water had reached to the top. He waited for a little while for the mud particles to settle down. He asked one of his assistants to pry loose the glass pitcher from the table. With the pitcher in hand, he offered the first sip to the Chairman of the Occupied Territories. The Chairman drank from the pitcher and looked visibly relieved. The Secretary of the State pointed at his happy face to everybody who had gathered over there.
This gentlemen, is the sweet taste of freedom. A freedom that is earned the hard way will be treasured by everybody. It will not be thrown away at the whims and fancies of any person. Now, I invite others in this room, to see if they have a better way of drinking the sweet water of freedom from the second pitcher.
While the Secretary of State was making his presentation, a militant had slipped unnoticed into the kitchen that would serve food for the delegates. He had come back to the meeting armed with a long straw. He put up his hand and said he wanted give a try at the second pitcher.
The delegates again gathered again at the table to watch a second demonstration. This time it would be from the militant. When everybody was in his place, the militant calmly took out a straw from his jacket, and walked up to the second pitcher, and placed the straw in it and sucked up all the water in it and drank to his hearts desire. Finishing his drink, he coolly threw the straw on the table and walked out of the meeting.
The Secretary of State was enraged at this insolent behavior of the militant. He angrily tore up the Road Map to Peace and vowed that he would never return to the Occupied Territories as long as he lived.
Last update : 24-12-2003 04:10
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